Daddy's Favorite

Owen's favorite thing is Cars (the Pixar movie). When we leave his school, I ask who's at home, and he says, "Mommy, Sophie... and my cars." So when he gets home, he goes to Joanne, but then it's generally Cars time.

I believe the biggest cause of his Cars fixation was my purchase of Meet the Cars, which got him familiar with all the characters. Oddly, it does not have DJ, Boost, Wingo, and Snotrod, the characters instrumental in McQueen arriving in Radiator Springs in the first place. That book, which I got in April, is apparently now out of print and Amazon has 3rd party sellers selling it for $40+. I almost feel obligated to get a second backup copy for the last remaining copy under $10. This might be a data point that supports Joanne's thought that Cars is the next Star Wars of merchandising. But I digress...

I purchased a lot of 50 on Ebay earlier in the year. He got about a dozen right away, but that was more to have a set at our house and a set at my parents. Since then we've gradually given him another on random occasions. By Thanksgiving, he had most of the main characters, and those he didn't have, he used blocks of the same color in their place. But with Christmas, it was time for a boost to his collection. As a stocking stuffer, he got the already mentioned DJ, Boost, Wingo and Snotrod as stocking stuffers, and he finally got Luigi and Guido as stocking stuffers at my parents (they're smaller, so we're OK with him not having them at home since they're more likely to be a choking hazard for Sophie). Joanne's parents also got him a shake and go Dinoco Mcqueen.

He also finally got my favorite:

Did you see it? Did you see my favorite? It's at the 25 second mark. He appears for 3 seconds. He has no lines, no interaction with any of the main characters. But he's my favorite because we have "Meet the Cars".

His name is Dustin Mellows, a delivery truck, that inexplicably made into the book over DJ and friends. Even more inexplicable, he is one of 3 cars shown on the inside front cover of the book. So with that prominence in the book, Owen learned who he was and how to say his name. And if your toddler says something as cute as Lisa Simpson's third word, (sorry, couldn't find an adequate clip) well that would become your favorite too. It got to the point where I would ask Owen to do me a favor and his response would not be "what?", it would be "Dustin Mellows."

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, when we'd play with the Cars, he'd get everyone's favorite (Sally for him, Flo for Joanne (ultimate term!), Mater for my dad (fitting), Tex for my mom (her father worked with Texaco), Sheriff for Sophie (Black, white and a little red, fitting for an infant)), but would note we didn't have Dustin Mellows, so he assigned me McQueen as my second favorite. Although I knew the merchandise machine for Cars was huge, I didn't expect there to be something for Dustin. But low and behold, there was! And I happily purchased it on eBay. I initially remarked that it was the first present I purchased and it was for myself (from Owen), but then I came to my senses and realized it should be from Santa to Owen and me.

Two days before Christmas, we were playing in the driveway. He wanted to bring out his cars, and went racing inside to get them one at a time. We'd decide who's favorite would be next, then he went inside, got one car, came back outside (being sure to close the door), and put it in line with the others. When it was time for daddy's favorite, he again reminded us we didn't have Dustin Mellows, so he went inside to get McQueen for me. Little did he know what he was getting for Christmas:

Something Different

Christmas, as anticipated, was a lot of fun. We had Keith's parents and brother over for breakfast, and then we went over to my parent's house (with my brother and his family) for dinner. Owen and Sophie must have been pretty good this year, as they did pretty well in the gift department (although not too spoiled I think). Owen received games, puzzles, a train set, Winnie the Pooh figurines, and, of course, Cars merchandise (see Keith's post on that subject, forthcoming).

Besides the gifts, it was a lot of fun to see family. Keith's brother is a volunteer fire fighter in Kansas, so he brought his hat, gloves & boots for Owen to see, which he got a big kick out of. I was also happy to see how well Owen played with his cousin Ben, who is one and a half years old.

The new toys help keep Owen busy, who's favorite phrase these days is, "Mommy, I want to do something different!". Owen enjoys crafts, so I'm constantly trying to be creative with the materials we have. I now think twice before throwing anything out. I saved some of the wrapping paper from Christmas so we could cut out the pictures and glue them on construction paper. I'm trying to figure out what to do with some of the bows.

Although it's hard with crafts, I try and find activities that Owen can actively participate in. Owen is more of a watcher than a participator. He refuses to even color with crayons or markers, saying, "No! You do it!". I haven't asked his teachers about it yet, but he does come home with projects supposedly colored by him. I'm sure it's part of his shy personality, but somewhere along the way we must have trained him to do that. So now we are trying to untrain him of that, without upsetting him too much. When I ask him why he doesn't want to do something, he usually says "I can't", or the amusing "I'm too busy", which makes me laugh cause I have no idea where he gets that from.

If he's busy at anything, it's talking. Keith and I wonder if all 2-3 year olds ramble on like he does. He talks so fast and about such random things that you have to concentrate to keep up with him. But, of course, most of you will never believe me, because he is so shy in a lot of circumstances!

Sophie is doing pretty well, although we've received more confirmation that she is developmentally behind. Her developmental pediatrician said that movement wise, she is like a one month old. Which is disheartening given that she's been home for 3 months, but understandable with all that she's been through. The good news is that she is progressing in her development, smiling and laughing more and tracking things. We are making an effort to give her more tummy time and other physical activity, and she will be starting physical, occupational, and feeding therapy soon. Her nippling has not improved, so we are hoping her scheduled swallow study in a few weeks will shed some light.

Owen is done with school for the year, so tomorrow starts a four day weekend for us. We don't have any plans for New Years, which is par for the course since we've had kids. I usually try to do something special for New Year's Eve dinner, so right now I'm planning on making this a cooking weekend: soup, muffins, and since Owen gets a kick out of saying "Holy Moly, Guacamole!", guacamole. I'll try and get Owen involved when possible, which will hopefully keep him occupied for a time. Until I hear the inevitable: "Mommy, I want to do something different!". :-)

O Holy Night

One of my favorite Christmas decorations is an ornament that shows Santa kneeling before baby Jesus in the manger. For many it is a reminder to "Keep Christ in Christmas" and "Remember the Reason for the Season". For me, it also signifies that you can blend the more traditional or "commercial" sides of Christmas with the religious one. Putting up lights, decorating the tree, baking cookies, sending cards, buying gifts is all part of the big celebration of Jesus's birth. You don't have to forgo all the material aspects (although it's easy to go overboard). But, of course, if you forget the "reason for the season", all of that can feel empty.

This year we have a unique perspective on this holiday. To me our two kids signify the two "sides" of Christmas. Although we said last year was the first year Owen could really enjoy the holiday, this year is even more special for him. He is now talking, so he can voice his enjoyment of the lights, decorating, wrapping, crafts, and, of course, the opening of presents. He doesn't fully understand this Santa Claus guy, but he knows he brings gifts. (He also enjoys playing with the manger scenes and knows all of the "characters".)

To me Sophie is a reminder of the newborn baby in the manger. Sophie, like Jesus, wasn't born in perfect circumstances. I, like Mary, am left to wonder what the special beginning means for the future. At Christmas mass today the priest talked about how the birth of Christ was special, but not picture perfect or extraordinary; Joseph and Mary had to deal with problems in the ordinary course of their lives. We are called to do the same. Our daily trials and tribulations need to be handled with the same faith the Holy Family had. And that if we allow God to lead our lives, His peace can pervade our ordinary, and anything but perfect, lives as well. I need to be reminded of this often.

So on this holiest of nights, I wish you Christ's peace. Merry Christmas!

Happy 3 Month (adjusted) Birthday, Sophie!

If Sophie was born on her due date, today would be her 3 month birthday. A couple of days ago we hit the milestone of Sophie being home longer than she had been in the NICU. It's hard to imagine she's so old, yet her time in the NICU seems so long ago. She has definitely changed in the past few months, although some things have remained the same.

Sophie's nippling has not improved and she still doesn't seem to feel completely healthy. We are trying various things to try and improve her loose and frequent stools, but since it's best to only try one thing at a time, it's a slow and sometimes frustrating process. We are still going to lots of doctor appointments, but going out is getting easier (probably less of a change in Sophie, and more me adjusting). This week we had two appointments in one morning (one of which was at a feeding time), which I would have thought insane a month ago, but ended up going okay. The bad news from the appointments is that Sophie will likely need two surgeries next year: one for her umbilical hernia, and one on her kidneys. The hernia surgery should be fairly quick and easy. I need to do more research on the kidney surgery, but her urologist is pretty confident that she will need surgery around her 1 year birthday to correct her duplicated kidney and reflux. I'm not sure how major a surgery that is, but it would definitely be harder than the hernia surgery.

Visibly Sophie is very different. I have posted recent pictures here. She is now close to 13 pounds. I don't know if you can tell from the pictures, but Sophie, aka "Baldy", has lost a lot of hair. The hair loss is apparently normal, but we didn't notice it with Owen, probably because he had very little hair to start with. Developmentally she has more alert times, smiles and giggles a little bit, and has started paying attention to toys. Her therapists have confirmed that she's behind developmentally, but that is not a surprise given her prematurity and rough start to life. Looking back at pictures and videos of Owen at 3 months, she is less giggly/smiley and has less head control.

Owen, meanwhile, is really enjoying the Christmas season. He has helped trim the tree, which obviously has more decorations on the bottom half than the top half. :-) We made a gingerbread tree, watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas", learned all the characters in the manger scene, sent a letter to Santa, went to Zoo lights, and he has even helped with the Christmas cards (hopefully the mailman will still deliver the cards given the address labels/stamps are a bit crooked!). He has enjoyed receiving cards in the mail, especially ones with family pictures. He likes learning who everyone is.

Dinner time continues to be a fun time. Owen learned that putting his feet up on the table is a no-no, so now he sometimes puts his hands on the table and says "This is a yes-yes", and then puts his foot on the table and says "And this is a no-no", just to show us he knows. Owen has always been a good eater, but Keith and I continue to find pleasure in playing games with Owen to get him to eat. One game involves him closing his eyes, crossing his fingers (his own addition to the game), opening his mouth, and then guessing the food we put in his mouth. Since we made the gingerbread tree, Owen now wants to make brocolli trees, meatball trees, okra trees, etc., and then eat them.

Hope everyone is enjoying the Christmas season. We are looking forward to Sophie's 5 month (actual) birthday on the 21st, and then of course, Jesus's birthday!

From o so december 10

From o so december 10

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Sophie

One of the nurses that comes to our house (through the NICP program) brought some pamphlets on developmental milestones and things you can do to help your babies development. One of the things it mentions is to sing to your baby, and more specifically to change the words to include your babies name. The first one I came up with was "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Sophie". It doesn't exactly flow well since it messes up the rhyming, but I get a bit choked up when I sing it because "How I wonder what you are" definitely applies. I wonder a lot. I wonder what developmental issues she is going to have. I wonder if her liver is going to continue to work. I wonder how long we will continue to have feeding issues. I wonder what we should try next in our attempt to get her to feel better. With every cry I wonder, "Are you hungry? Gassy? Reflux? Tummy ache? Over stimulated? Tired? Something else?".

This has been a busy week for us. Monday we attempted to get blood drawn again (Sophie's veins are apparently so small that even the "baby expert" couldn't get any blood from her). Tuesday we saw the surgeon, who said we will need to get her hernia fixed, a minor surgery. He said there is no hurry, so we will wait a bit to see how long she might need the g-tube since they could close that up in the same surgery. Wednesday we saw Sophie's GI doctor who gave us a new list of things we could try to get her to feel better. Right now we are trying a special formula (instead of the breast milk she had been getting) to see if that helps fix her loose & frequent stools and her gas. So far it's not helping, so then we'll try something else (another formula, upping her reflux medicine, an antibiotic for the bacterial overgrowth found in her stool are some of our options). Thursday we saw the pediatrician, which was a nice visit since I made it with the nurse practitioner that we normally see for Owen and really like. Plus, besides all that I had the stress of trying to get work done and getting ready for Christmas. I am working only 20 hours a week, but I sometimes feel like I am attempting to get a full workload done.

So it was no surprise that I was sick on Friday. We were planning on taking the kids to Tucson this weekend to watch Keith play frisbee, but my body said "Enough! You rest!". I didn't do much work on Friday, and today I had help since Keith was in Tucson. Keith's Mom & Dad were gracious enough to take Owen for the weekend, and my Mom was a big help here with Sophie. I am feeling much better today, so hopefully tomorrow I will have some energy to actually get something done. Right now the Christmas tree is half up and I need to get on the ball with ordering presents. I debated not doing the big tree because it can take so much time, but I really enjoy the decorations and I want to give Owen the full Christmas experience. I have tried explaining Santa to Owen, but I'm not sure he quite understands. I'm sure come Christmas morning, he'll have a better idea about who he is. :-) The good news is that he loves his manger scene magnets, and likes talking about baby Jesus, and who his mommy & daddy are, and what the 3 wise men bring him. Although last year we said it was the first year that Owen would be able to truly enjoy Christmas, this is the first year that Owen will be able to verbally express his feelings about Christmas. There is a lot more for him to think about and try to understand. I look forward to sharing his "wonder" at the season with him.

The Early Bird

Keith recently found an article that said that successful people tend to get up early. But what if your goal is to sleep in?


Last time I wrote I mentioned Owen was having trouble sleeping and was being a fairly terrible two. Since then we've made a few changes, with some positive results.


We initiated a "no tv and no computer week". Owen got into the habit of wanting to watch youtube videos on our computers (mainly Winnie the Pooh or Cars). We were worried that Owen was having nightmares (I thought I heard him wake up and say "The Owl scared me!"), and computer time after dinner was delaying bed time. We made an effort to hide our laptops (which normally make a regular appearance at our house). For the first part of the week Owen kept asking to watch something, but we reminded him, "it's no TV and no computer week!". Toward the end of the week he slowed down his asking, and hasn't asked for it much since.

We have implemented more discipline and scheduling into our day. We make it a point to warn Owen what's coming next: "We'll read this book, then it's time to wash our hands for dinner". Then we have to stick to the plan; inevitably he'll try for another book/toy, and if we give in he knows he can negotiate with us all of the time. We've started giving him time outs, which I'm not convinced of the effectiveness of yet. Sometimes he'll choose the time out over the preferred action ("If you don't wash your hands, you'll get a time out." "I want a time out."). But I think it has worked some of the time.


We started letting Owen choose (for the most part) who put him to bed. For about a week he chose only me, so that's what we did. I think the consistency of having me there each night helped (plus alleviated some jealousy of my time with Sophie). We had been staying with Owen in his bed until he feel asleep. In order to try and break him of that I started sitting on a "special" pillow on the floor next to the bed. The first night Owen kept getting out of bed and wanted to sit in my lap; I kept placing him back in bed. We did that SIXTY-FIVE TIMES (!) the first night. The second night was sixteen times; the third night was once. We are still a long way from being able to leave the room before he falls asleep, but it's a start. It's still a struggle to get him to bed as early as we'd like, but at least he's more consistently falling asleep before 9pm, than after.


He doesn't wake up in the middle of the night as often, but still consistently gets up at 5:30am or 6am (when he was in his crib he would sleep until 7am). We're trying the rule "we can't go downstairs until the clock says 7am", but so far that isn't having much of an effect on his actual sleeping. My newest theories are that he wakes up having to pee or wakes up cold. He has a favorite blankie, but it's fairly light and small. If he's awake he refuses to wear any other blanket. Not sure what we'll try next. We've thought about putting a gate on his door, but we're not really convinced that would do anything. I think this may just be a phase we have to live through.


His day time attitude still has some rough patches, but he definitely has shown some improvement. It's really quite bizarre sometimes - he just gets really upset all of a sudden for no good reason (at least not apparent to us). Last night we were coloring with markers, and anything I tried to draw made him cry as if we were taking away his favorite toy. Then he calmed down and we had no more trouble the rest of the night. But these upset times seem to be diminishing from the 3-4 times daily occurence they once were.


Sophie started a new medicine for reflux, which has shown some improvement in her overall demeanor and with her nippling, albeit spotty. She is more consistently nippling 50cc's, with an occasional 90. But also an occasional zero. We will be working with a feeding specialist in the next few weeks. Her gas seems to have gotten worse, so the next grocery trip will include soy milk and yogurt for me. A non-dairy diet helped alleviate the gas for Owen as a baby, so we'll see if that helps Sophie.


I started back to work this week, part time (about 20 hours/week). On days when we have doctor appointments it's difficult to get enough work done, but on days when we have nothing and I have help from the grandmas it's nice to do something more "normal". Although it's more difficult to catch up with sleep with naps.


Postscript: Owen was asleep by 8:30pm last night, and slept until 7am this morning (except for waking up at 1am). I call that success!

I'm No Superman

First, I'm overdue in thanking everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I'm constantly hearing about new people that are reading the blog, which is humbling - nurses, co-workers, friends, relatives, friends of relatives, and even relatives of friends. Although a few of you have said that I'm a really good writer, which makes me think you're accidentally reading the wrong blog. :-)

As I mentioned before, I have turned to the tv to alleviate some of the stress (and boredom) that comes with taking care of Sophie. Right now I'm watching season 2 of Scrubs. My apologies to those of you (Hi Mom!) that hate getting the theme song stuck in your head, but that's what I've had to deal with the last couple of weeks (that and Winnie the Pooh). If you aren't familiar with it, the chorus goes "I can't do this all on my own...no I'm no...I'm no superman". This has rung especially true for me lately. The support of my friends and family has never been so important to me as it is right now. Whether it be grandparents watching Owen, lunch with a friend, or just someone holding Sophie so I can do other things, life would be so much more tough without them.

I could also change the words to "I can't do this without sleep". My attitude suffers greatly when I don't get enough sleep. I get frustrated and emotional a lot easier when I'm tired. As with any new parents, getting sleep is a struggle for us. Between Sophie waking up with reflux or to poop (she gets a continuous drip feed at night so at least we don't have to worry about that) and Owen getting up in the middle of the night, we don't get a lot of continuous (or total) sleep. Owen will not go to sleep without one of us there with him, and gets up either in the middle of the night or really early the next day.

Owen is also a handful during the day. He throws a mini tantrum any time we say "no", and it takes a ton of energy to get him to do things like wash his hands, brush his teeth, take a bath, or change his clothes. As I write this he is throwing a MAJOR fit because Daddy is putting him to bed instead of me. He's been screaming for 5 minutes and is still going. [Postscript: I ended up going upstairs and putting him to sleep because he would just not calm down. Right thing to do? Maybe not, but he was going to hurt himself if he continued. Once he calmed down I explained to him that some nights Mommy is going to put him to bed, sometimes Daddy. Doesn't mean I don't love him when Daddy puts him to bed, but we like to take turns and share. He said, "oh". I told him that tonight I would put him to sleep but tomorrow night Daddy would. He said that would be ok. We'll see what he does tomorrow night.] Yesterday he wanted a lollipop, and since he had just peed on the potty I was going to give him one as a treat. But he refused to wash his hands, so I told him no lollipop unless he washed his hands. I could tell he was thinking about it, but he never did wash his hands. I never thought that he would be such a terrible two. Obviously the stress of Sophie being at home is getting to him. At least he's a good eater - along with the green beans, he continues to eat healthier than a lot of adults: pinto beans, edamame, okra, and even collard greens.

Unfortunately there has been no progress on the feeding front for Sophie. She is consistenly taking only 30-40% of her feeds from the bottle. We are hoping to work with a speech therapist that specializes in feeding issues, and are currently working with her other doctors to make sure she feels her best. This is, of course, frustrating for us, most of all because we don't know what the future holds. A trip to the P.O.P.S.I.C.L.E. website for feeding issues makes me both depressed (knowing what issues some people have) and hopeful (that Sophie is not as bad off as others).

She still cries a decent amount, but Sophie is continuing to get bigger and is starting to get out of the newborn phase. When people see her for the first time they often say, "Oh, how small!". But to me she is huge - she is now double her birth weight (10 lbs). She has more alert periods and keeps her gaze on us often. I can tell she is on the verge of smiling at us and making goo-goo noises.

Despite all of the frustrations we are slowly getting into a routine and do occasionally have some fun. This was the first Halloween that Owen went trick or treating, so we had a lot of fun this past weekend. Saturday morning was the NICU's annual reunion. It was nice to see a lot of Sophie's nurses, albeit a little weird to go back to the place that was the location of so much emotion for us. We went to Tempe's Halloween festival on Saturday night. Owen got to go in a fire truck and jump in the bouncy tent, where he had a lot of fun in his own reserved kind of way (the other kids in the tent were jumping all over the place, while Owen bounced in one spot). He was an alien at the festival since we didn't really have time to go look for a costume. He had asked to be an elephant, which I thought would be impossible to do last minute. I was hoping to get a pumpkin at the last minute, but alas, no. Imagine my surprise when we happened to see a toddler elephant costume 50% off at Albertson's the morning of Halloween! Owen himself really surprised me by absolutely loving trick or treating. After every house he would say "Let's go to another house". He even asked to go in our neighbor's haunted house! I guess the dark and/or the costume helped him overcome his shyness.

Please continue to pray for us as we learn to navigate life with two kids who demand a lot of our attention. There are times that we definitely need all the (divine and earthly) help we can get!

Here are some recent pictures. More are on our Picasa websites here and here.

From o so october 10

Halloween. Sophie had an elephant on her shirt too. You can see her feeding pump in the background.

From o so october 10

From o so november 10

You can barely see Sophie's scar from the liver surgery, but her G-tube is pretty obvious.