Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Trip to Holland

For my birthday last September, Owen (and Daddy) made me the following card, which of course, made me cry (the happy kind):
From O So September 2011

So it was no surprise to hear that Owen was working on another card for Mother's Day.  Come MD morning, he wasn't finished with it, so Daddy and Owen were working on it while I was doing various things around the house.  I could hear a few of the things they were writing on it, so I was wondering if I was going to get emotional when I read it.  I think I held myself together until I read # 6:


If you can't read it, #6 says "Appreciating our trip to Holland".  I totally lost it at that point. 

If you're wondering how you missed my post and pictures from our trip to Holland, don't worry, we haven't gone anywhere.  Keith is referring to this story, which a friend of ours sent us when Sophie received her diagnosis in August. First, I was surprised that Keith remembered the story.  Second, I appreciated the fact that he noticed my acceptance of the revised "trip" that our lives have become. 

And I have come to a greater acceptance.  When I first read the Holland story I didn't think it was the best analogy.  I think my biggest disagreement with it was that it didn't really admit that taking care of a special needs child was not just different - it was harder.  There isn't just developmental issues to deal with; there are medical issues that can cause suffering.  We have been incredibly lucky that Sophie has been healthy and I thank God often for that.  But I now realize that along with the difficulties there are blessings.  You appreciate the little things.  You learn things you would never have learned.  As the story mentions, you meet new people you would never have met otherwise.  On Monday Sophie and I went to a BBQ at our church for families with special needs children.  I was struck by how different some of the people in the group are.  I wasn't sure if I would fit in.  But then you start talking and you realize how much you have in common.  There is an instant bond when you meet someone with shared experiences.  I feel that bond with all mothers/parents to a certain extent, but especially with those with special needs kids. 

Did I say that I held it together until #6?  Ok, I probably lied.  #4 probably holds the most value for me, because it is the truest of them all. 

Happy late Mother's Day!

I've been remiss in posting lately, so here are some pictures to get you (almost) caught up.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Owen and the Bean Stalk

This is a mashup of monsters and green beans. You've been warned.

Coming home from school two weeks ago, Owen announced that he wanted to break his green bean eating record. He wanted to confirm the number, and I told him it was 38.

"So I have to eat 39?"
"At least"
"Just 39. I'll do 40 next time."

Got to admire his awareness of not overextending himself.

With our vegetable set, we went with pasta as the side dish. I suggested to him that it might be best to start with green beans, and to use the pasta as a break.  But if pasta is on the plate, he eats it first. While I'd prefer he engage in circle eating, he has learned to eat all of one thing before moving on to the next at school, as that is their control mechanism to keep them on track. Fortunately, I only gave him a small amount of rotini before he got started on a record setting performance*. Here's the conclusion. If you're not a grandparent, I am fairly certain it is a waste of four minutes, so don't feel obligated to watch:



*although he set a record with 39, topping his record of 38,  the 36 he ate just before the 38 is still the most impressive performance, based on size of the green beans in that sitting.  And really this green bean thing may not be all that impressive from a quantity amount. I really should weigh it. It's not uncommon for him to eat gobs of fruit for dessert, such as a recent small bowl of grapes, tangelo, banana effort, or a big bowl of tropical fruit (strawberry, papaya, mango, pineapple).

All this makes other people think he's a good eater. But really he's just OK there. What he has is a good diet. I do worry about being too restrictive in that he's not getting the opportunity to figure out for himself a proper balance, but maybe four year olds weren't meant to do that. I've tried to lighten up a little when he gets things that he doesn't get in the house. (Really Mom, I am trying!). Last Sunday, we went to a Derby party in which we were served the traditional Derby Pie, following the hosts' 7 year old and 4 year old chanting "we want pie, we want pie..."  On Monday, Owen asked if I liked their "pie song." So it goes...

And in completely unrelated news but relevant due to post title, Owen really does not like my favorite kids book to read--The Monster at the End of this Book. I vaguely remembered it from when I was a kid, figured out what book it was and purchased maybe 2 years ago. The initial readings went OK, but Owen didn't really comprehend everything, and I wasn't quite pushing the boundaries of its performance. But on last year's trip to San Diego, I perhaps embellished too much in Grover's pleading the reader  not to turn the page, and Owen thought I was mad at him and started crying. Ever since then, he's been afraid of it.   I try every few months, but to no avail.

On recent attempts, his reasons for not wanting to read have become more... rational, if you will: we NEED to listen to Grover. Despite Owen knowing the monster at the end of the book is in fact Grover, he absolutely does not want me to turn any pages. Last week, Joanne recorded part of this attempt (please excuse the very questionable parenting going on as well as my hair):



Last Monday (May 7), Owen brought the book to me and asked if it was my favorite book (I do think it's great and I'm hoping that if I like it that much, he'll let me read it again) and I said yes, it is my favorite book to read to him. We then negotiated terms of a prospective reading, and that was to not read it, but to just turn the pages. Alas, that lasted two turns and then I had to keep the book away from him as I turned the pages.  We got the end and he completely relaxed and let me read the last page. He then said "Daddy, you should really listen to Grover."